Start From Zero

Spiritual work starts with limitation. A person is a device for measuring the Creator and like any device it needs to be calibrated. Therefore, first one must position oneself at zero and from this zero, one can already start studying, measuring states, and advance in this way. Zero is the beginning of the spiritual ladder, and without it, we would not know where we are: above or below, in minus or in plus.

However, a person does not agree to this calibration, our egoism pushes away the nullification, does not want to hear about it. After all, we already are in the best state, in the world of infinity, at the end of correction—nothing changes except our desires and thoughts, that is, the inner sensations that obscure from us the infinite light in which we are immersed.

That is why it is so difficult for us to accept self-annulment, but it is necessary. Zero is the absolute truth. That is, I always have to annul myself, understanding that I cannot evaluate anything according to my desires and feelings. I am in the ocean of the upper light, under its influence, and I fully annul my evaluation of it. After all, I have no correct feelings and understanding of it, and therefore, I do not want to judge it in any way: neither good nor bad. I detach myself from my “I” inside the upper light and strive to become like its qualities, to reveal the correct sensation of it.¹

Prior to using scales, they must be calibrated by placing the arrow at zero. Exactly in the same way I have to calibrate myself; otherwise, I will not be able to check how much I correspond to the qualities of the Creator. First of all, I need the precise definition of the Creator as the absolute good that gives me the world of infinity, the state of the end of correction, the light that fills the entire universe.

I try to get closer to this perception and to determine how I differ from it or resemble it, how much above or below it I am. But first of all, I need to annul myself to zero. As if there are two separate scales from which I remove all my weight and want to balance the arrow at zero first. I know that on the one pan is the absolute good. Now I put my egoism on the other pan as if it has already been corrected and check my similarity to the upper light. Thus, I constantly correct myself and ascend through the spiritual degrees.

First of all, I imagine myself inside the white upper light: there is none else beside the Creator, good and benevolent. Now I can start approaching Him, figuring out what changes I have to make within myself, how to restrict my heart and mind in order not to be a disturbance for the white light. To the extent I do not disturb the light, I begin to enter Him, undergoing the states of gestation, suckling, and adulthood (Ibur, Yenika, and Mochin), until I get completely included in the light, reaching the end of correction.

I detach myself from my “I” as if I do not exist and cut off my desires and thoughts in order to feel myself inside the white light, excluding any interference of my egoism. If I completely nullify myself, I can be sure that I will not fall, because it is impossible to fall from the floor—this is the lowest, safest point. Just like a baby immediately sits down on the floor when he loses balance. Then he can be sure that he will not fall.²

If I am not happy about my states and I want changes, it is a luxury. I am adding my desire to enjoy, which obscures spirituality from me, and I only feel the corporeal world.³

The first calibration is to exclude my interference with the white light and to not allow my desire to receive to wake up. I want to nullify myself completely so as not to be a disturbance for the upper light, like a drop of semen in the mother. As if I do not have any of my own desires and thoughts, I cancel them all before the white light.

I do not care what I feel, I nullify myself before everything I receive from the Creator who is good to everyone: to the wicked, to the righteous, and even to me. At every moment, only absolute good comes from Him. The only thing that I lack at any moment is to reveal that now I am receiving the infinity, the end of correction, absolute good.

If I calibrate my desires correctly, I will feel myself in the best possible state right now. There is no doubt that from above I receive absolute good, and now I must only bring myself to equivalence with it here below.⁴

Try to calibrate yourself so that you do not have your own mind and feelings—everything comes from the Creator. All my thoughts and sensations, everything in me is sent by the Creator. If I am ready to hold on to this state, it means that I am becoming a spiritual embryo.⁵

My egoism is always trying to raise its head and demand understanding and feelings. Besides, external disturbances come from all sides and I have to constantly nullify myself in relation to them. This is dynamic work; I must always remain in zero as if I constantly check the direction with a compass in order not to be lost.

At every moment I calibrate myself so that I do not care what will happen to me. I remain in the center of my desires and thoughts, like a spider in the middle of the web, and watch that no desire or thought escapes from it. It means that I annul myself to zero, and from that point I can already start rising. An absolute zero is the beginning of the spiritual ladder.

I feel that I have nullified myself, and the arrow of my scale points exactly to zero, that is, I do not interfere with the Creator to influence me. Then I say that there is none else beside Him. After all, if my arrow moves toward plus or minus, then this is not the direction toward the Creator; it means that I am not annulling myself. Therefore, to keep myself in zero, I have to work constantly. All future progress is based on it, when we just add new types of annulment.⁶
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/12/19, Writings of Baal HaSulam, Shamati 53 “The Matter of Limitation”