How To Come To Spiritual Love In The Family?

Question: It is written that “A man and a woman, if rewarded, the Shechina dwells between them, and if not, then it is a devouring fire.” What does it mean?

Answer: This speaks of spiritual states not about our corporeal life. It tells us how to combine two forces—positive and negative, that in Kabbalah are called “man” and “woman”—with the help of the middle line. And then they can complement each other and with the right connection achieve perfection and attainment.

If they do not oppose each other correctly, it will lead to a short circuit, and they “burn in the fire.”

Question: Is it possible to achieve such connection and love between two people?

Answer: If each person confronts his egoism, then the two unite in this power of resistance to their egoism and they take the egoism of the other as their own. We need to change: I care about your egoism and you care about mine.

Question: What allows us to annul our own egoism?

Answer: The importance of the goal, that is, the achievement of the connection.

Question: And so we come to spiritual love?

Answer: We are two egoists that want to achieve spiritual love. Each of us compromises his or hier egoism. Then I take my wife’s ego and she takes mine. Both of us care about one another. It turns out that there is something in common between us: a part of me in her and a part of her in me.

Question: What does it mean to take care of the partner’s egoism?

Answer: A husband is ready to praise his wife and she is ready to praise him. Everyone knows all their partner’s weaknesses and habits and accepts them. One has to love all his wife’s faults, her habits, and she should love his because it is important for them to come to love with this common action. The most important thing is the goal: to come to love. The importance of the goal should always be shining for us.

Spouses have to constantly show an example to each other of the importance of the goal. One has to show that he is doing it for the sake of his wife with the condition that he gets the same attitude in return. This becomes a mutual game where each thinks about the other and understands that as a result of this, he will receive from the partner such an attitude that he will never find in any other place.

And then one will feel that this is what he should do. After all, we are egoists, and we want to profit from everything we do. That’s why it’s important to make something beneficial from the marriage.

Question: And if a partner does not want to annul his egoism? What to do then?

Answer: One has to show an example of how he annuls his ego. The example is the most effective tool.
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From the Virtual Lesson “The Time of Kabbalah” 6/20/17