Do You Want To Be Dressed In Bestowal? Try It On!

Question: When I act before a friend, trying to make the goal seem more important in his eyes, must I act according to what I think is great or according to his attributes?

Answer: What do you mean, according to what you think? You must take into account only the friend. When a mother takes care of a baby, what does she think about? Is it about what is good for her or about what is good for the baby?

When I act before the friend, I aim at the highest goal. Of course, it isn’t in an exaggerated manner, but I try to convey encouragement on the spiritual path gently, from the bottom of my heart. This also impresses me. I lie to myself, as if I really want it.

As a result, I receive more Aviut, “thickness,” a deeper desire, and then I suddenly fall. However, this fall is a result of my efforts. I summoned the descent by myself, and this is already a great step forward.

There are descents that simply wait for me along the way, but there also are descents that come as a result of my efforts. They are totally different, and I receive them differently since my vessels are ready for this.

I have made something higher of myself; I have “drawn” myself anew in an attempt to be equal to the spiritual level. I am impressed by bestowal. I judge everyone to the scale of merit. I justify the Creator, my past and my present. I “blow up” all this by myself, helping the friends, yearning for mutual guarantee, living and breathing it, and, suddenly, I feel a descent in the vessels that I have created myself. Although they are not real, although I only was acting, thanks to my “performance,” thanks to the “costume” I tried on, I get additional Aviut.

In fact, I have gained an upper form and have jumped the gun, and it is as if I built it independently, and the Creator only adds the “matter” of the desire to it. By my inclination forward, it is as if I have built a large “me” in advance, and the Creator only agrees with me and fills the drawing, the “bubble” I have created. He has filled the airy body with “flesh,” with the matter of the desire, and, now, I am already in a higher state.

Thus, I advance with the help of my imagination. Of course, things are a bit more complicated. I don’t just make a “drawing,” and the Creator “colors” it in, but it is a wonderful means to advance.

In addition, there is one more thing: By acting before the friends, I actually build the Creator, the future state of bestowal. This is because I cannot imagine the Creator as higher than myself on a higher level. For me, it is the same thing. I either imagine myself or Him.
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From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/10/12, Talmud Eser Sefirot