The Only One Who Will Help Me

By trying to unite in the group, we don’t just evoke the Light, but the Light that Reforms. It doesn’t correct me, but it gives me new details of perception. Its job is to show me that I am totally detached, opposite, broken, immersed in hate, and laying at the bottom. First, I come to this recognition.

Beyond that, the Light obliges me to feel that nothing can save me, and it is impossible to come out. It gives me the feeling that there is no force in our world that can correct me, although I seemingly do want to connect with the friends and love them.

However, I continue to work and do my best, together with the great hate for separation and the great desire to unite. With the help of the Light, I begin to understand that this is very important. Then, it reveals the most important internal point to me: the understanding that only the Creator can help me.

Thus I reach two things. On one hand, I begin to hate evil, and on the other, I come to love the good, meaning absolute bestowal, when I actually want to go out of my way toward others. I have acquired a big deficiency, the need for unity and love. In addition, above the call of the heart, I have reached the understanding that no one can help me except the Creator.

So, eventually, I acquire a deficiency for the Creator. First, I assumed that together with the friends, we will tear down the Machsom (the barrier separating us from spirituality), and as a result of this demand, I will penetrate nature more deeply and discover the inner force hidden in it—the only one force that can help me. I feel that the desire aimed at the Creator is born in my heart.

This is the top, the climax of my work on the corporeal degree, with all the means available here. From this point on, I am “locked” onto the Creator: How do I ask, demand, oblige, and beg Him for help?

This desire develops and takes on new forms. For whom is the Creator’s help meant? I begin to see that until now, I wanted to use Him, even pay Him. However, I actually need the changes in order to bring Him pleasure. So, by changing internally, I begin to change our mutual relations, until above all my personal calculations I want all the changes to bring Him pleasure.

This is the work of the Creator: I work and consciously aim all the fruit of my work toward Him. Then, I ask to feel Him. I ask not as I do now, not for my self-benefit, but on the contrary, I tell Him: “Don’t reveal Yourself; otherwise my desire to receive will begin to enjoy. Just tell me what is for Your good. This is the only thing that I want.”

So, from the level of our world, I move on to another kind of work, done relative to the Creator. At the same time, I continue to work in the group, but now as one whole with it.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/20/2012, “Preface to The Book of Zohar”