Love On A Low Flame That Doesn’t Go Out

Comment: In today’s society there is such a convention that people enter into an intimate connection very rapidly after the first meeting. And there is a huge omission. In the public mind the sexual revolution is perceived as permissive.

Answer: And that is why we don’t get pleasure from sex. There is some kind of social convention that permits entering into very rapid intimate connection after barely meeting and knowing nothing about each another. And then we are missing all that immense supplement that leads to an explosion of the senses.

After all, what happens after the pair attains sexual satisfaction? It’s all done and nothing remains. That is how nature forces us to add an emotional component to this act, and if it is missing, we leave it empty. A moment later, our thoughts are already somewhere else. Maybe, we already are thinking about some other connection.

Fulfillment is possible only if we build such a system of relationship where the sexual act only complements it and is not performed only to satisfy the lowest level of a beastly urge. We must learn to love! First, it is up to us to build a common system of connections, mutual concession, mutual understanding, and pleasant contacts.

These are the systems that make it possible for one to feel the person internally and to learn how to bring him pleasure, and he will feel what I enjoy, what gives me pleasure. This is not talking about sex here. Rather, this is about all kinds of connections between us.

It is nice for us to be together, nice to talk, to see each other, nice to taste something that someone else offers, which is to say that these are all kinds of human expressions through which we can enjoy one another.

To love others as I do myself, I must first understand what his needs are and try to fulfill them, and my partner learns my needs and fulfills them. He must feel pleasure from me, and I want to enjoy him. When a connection like this is created between us in which each one is found within the other and fulfills the others’ needs, we already can reach an intimate closeness. It also indicates that we are found one within the other and are fulfilling our partner.

We are people with many talents, involved with a variety of things, and don’t always require attention from each other. Nevertheless, there is a latent need in each one of us that can be awakened at any moment and satisfied through a few tender words or a touch.

Question: I understand this technique, but nice words don’t always touch someone’s heart. What must I do to touch that inner point within a partner that is waiting secretly for my attention?

Answer: We start from afar, with soft words, to stimulate the person. This is the same approach as in every other kind of human relationship, not only between couples. You try to provide fulfillment and love for the partner.

“Courting” means that, first of all, I learn to understand who the person is with the help of all kinds of small and short checks, careful attempts. That is how I find the sensitive points in him so that, when I touch them, I can give him enjoyment. I must develop my relationship with these sensitive points and expand them more and more.

Through exercises like these, I awaken within the person a need for my attention. I continue to fulfill him: I say nice words to him, give some gift, discover concern and attention, and, in this way, I gradually get the person used to these fulfillments, just as I would tame an animal. Each one of us is built like that. Thanks to this, I form a need for fulfillment in him, for my good relationship with him.

Here, I stop my actions a bit, and then begin to fulfill my partner again—stop a bit, fulfill again. In this way I ignite him and awaken in him an even greater desire. This is the game that we play with one another. This is the game between two loving people who know how to keep their love on a low flame so that at any moment it will be possible to ignite it into a large flame.

This requires skill. I cannot repeat the same stock phrases, but I must adjust myself precisely to the desires of my partner. However, even that is not enough. After I adjust myself, I must begin to develop the desire, expanding it all the time through fulfillment. This is until habit becomes second nature. Then, my wife will feel such a strong need for my relationship towards her, and I feel the same thing about her.

So, it follows that we are building a common area between us. My need is built within her, and her need is built within me. This common area where we depend upon each other is the territory of our love.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 6/9/13

A Point That Expands Through The Yeast Of The Light

Malchut included in Bina—meaning the desire to receive that is included within the desire to bestow—molds the desire to bestow in regard to itself. As a result of this integration, the system of worlds is created: Atzilut, Beria, Yetzira, and Assiya (ABYA), the higher system of management that conveys the Light of Infinity to us from above.

As a result of the integration between Bina and Malchut, the desire to receive becomes complex. From now on, there is a heart in it, which is the Malchut, the desire to receive, and the “point in the heart,” which is the point of Bina. This is the soul, the creature.

The entire creation is divided into two parts: From the outside, there is the system that is surrounded by the Light of Infinity, and from within, there is the soul. Until the system reaches the soul, it passes through 125 levels of reduction of the Lights, levels ofHa’alama (Concealment), for which reason they are called Olamot (Worlds).

The Light that passes through Yashar (directness) is called Ohr Pnimi (Inner Light), and the Light that shines from the outside is called Ohr Makif (Surrounding Light). The Light ofYashar awakens us and gives us the sensation of the present, and the Ohr Makif that comes by way of Igulim (Circles) gives us the sense of the future. If the future doesn’t illuminate me, then I have nothing to live for; I feel no purpose ahead, and this is a problem. However, if I don’t even have Light in the present, then I die. It is desirable for both the present and the future to illuminate me. However, if I am not connected to a society, then the future Light cannot illuminate me. This is because the future illuminates more and more strongly the more and more that I connect with the group, and if I am not connected with them, then I have no future.

So someone who doesn’t work on strengthening a connection with the group loses power and eventually leaves, and if a person doesn’t work with the Light of the present, then he doesn’t even revive himself in the present state. We must try very hard to provide ourselves with both a future and a present.

The “straight line” and the “circles” are two forms of higher management. If a person works on his connection with the group, then he discovers these two forms there. Specifically for that purpose, the forms of management through the straight line and the circles are created to bring a person to a connection that will fill his entire vessel. But how does he get this great vessel if he is only an inner point in the center of all of the circle? Just as yeasted dough expands, so he also needs to be expanded by the Upper Light and fill the entire vessel.

The desire to receive is a small point created “out of nothing.” However, if we transform it to become for the sake of bestowal, it is expanded to the size of the entire creation.
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From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/30/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam

The Luck Of Cats

Question: What are these 49 Gates of Tuma’a (Impurity) they passed through before the exodus from Egypt?

Answer: We try to get out from our ego toward love of others, and we are not ready. Again we try, and again, we don’t succeed. We try again and again, until, basically, we discover that all of us are in a situation in which we don’t want to leave Egypt. We have no possibility of doing this and no strength. We are not able to leave. It is a completely hopeless situation.

Our ego, as it is now, pulls us into all kinds of stupidity with which we try to fill our lives. So, in what way are our lives different from the life of a cat, besides the fact that the cat feels good about himself? Yesterday, the weather was clear. He laid down and warmed himself in the sun. There is something to eat, so the cat eats and sleeps, and nothing more concerns him.

A person needs to receive a thousand times more than a cat to feel satisfied. So, who is more joyful and happy, the person or the cat? As far as it seems, the cat is happier. He lies in the sun all the time, he knows that his owner always will feed him, and he is not concerned about anything for himself.

The cat looks contemptuously at how his owner runs around all the time. He runs to work, doing a thousand other things. He doesn’t understand why people make such  a hectic life for themselves. Why are they running around so much? Every day, they go around in the same circle: They put the children in kindergarten and they run to work, to the store, and home. They prepare food, eat, and go to sleep to start all over again. Is it worth it to go around like this all year, to break out once a year for a seven-day vacation?

And the cat lies around all day, licks himself, and it is good for him. So, which of us is more joyful and happy? Who is more complete? Certainly, it is the cat, whereas the person is a most miserable creature, as it is written about Ishmael, “…his hand shall be against every man, and every man’s hand against him.” (Genesis 16:12).
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/8/15, Writings of Rabash

Breaking Free Of The Domination Of The Ego

The Torah, “Leviticus” 25:44 – 25:46: Your male slave or female slave whom you may have from the nations that are around you, from them you may acquire a male slave or a female slave. And also from the children of the residents that live among you, from them you may acquire [slaves] and from their family that is with you whom they begot in your land, and they shall become your inheritance. You shall hold onto them as an inheritance for your children after you, as acquired property, and may thus have them serve you forever. But as for your brethren, the children of Israel, a man shall not work his brother with rigor.

The Torah tells us about different egoistic states that we undergo, one of which is enslavement to our ego.

We shouldn’t perceive what the Torah tells us as a story about the mutual relationships between people, since mutual relationships in this world are fulfilled automatically according to our natural attributes. The Torah tells us only about our internal states.

The Torah turns to us personally and refers to the states that we undergo, either as slaves to our desires or as people who are free of their desires and are the leaders, managers, and creators of our desires as a result of our development, i.e., to the extent that we can rise above our ego.

All of these are spiritual categories relative to the ego and there is nothing else but that.

Question: In that case, who is Moses?

Answer: Moses is the uppermost point of the desire that is born in the ego, breaks free and pulls people (the desires) who quickly can follow.

Moses doesn’t come out of the ego by himself. After spending 40 years with Jethro, he must go back to Egypt because his brothers are there. Even Pharaoh makes him an offer to leave Egypt with Aaron. Pharaoh doesn’t want Moses to take from him that part (Israel) that makes him rich, since he receives the Light through that part. This is the reason that he doesn’t want to let the people go. However, on the other hand, he allows Moses, the actual point of bestowal, to leave: “You don’t belong in Egypt anyway. You haven’t been here for 40 years, and now you suddenly show up.”

The slaves, Pharaoh, Moses, and Joseph are all desires that express a person’s attitude toward his ego, called Egypt, but the main one is Pharaoh.

When I take my people (my desires) out of the domination of the intention for myself and place them under the intention for the Creator, I exit the borders of Egypt, moving beyond the borders of the circle ruled by Pharaoh. It is the Creator who rules outside that circle.

This is the reason that I must take my desire out of that circle, since it can be either under the domination of Pharaoh or under the domination of the Creator. In order to do that, I must establish the conditions in Egypt that allow me to take this desire out so that it will agree to follow me.

I must weaken Pharaoh’s influence over my desires, which means to afflict them with ten plagues. I must place the desires (the people) in such darkness that they do not achieve any success nor a ray of Light in their lives. Only then can I collect them and free them from the domination of Pharaoh. This is called crossing the Red Sea, the borderline between egoism and altruism.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 11/12/14

Freedom And Dependency

The Torah, “Leviticus” 26:1 – 26:2: You shall not make idols for yourselves, nor shall you set up a statue or a monument for yourselves. And in your land you shall not place a pavement stone on which to prostrate yourselves, for I am the Lord, your God. You shall keep My Sabbaths and fear My Sanctuary. I am the Lord.

Not to prostrate yourselves means to try to be as independent as possible—free.

This is a paradox, but freedom and independence must be formatted under the slogan, “for I am the Lord, your God,” which implies absolute lack of freedom. It is in this absolute lack of freedom that I attain that I must be totally free, which means to ascend above myself and be united with the Creator.

It is actually in the unity with Him that I achieve complete independence. It is hard to perceive this paradox because of its duality, but it exists. Scientists who deal with quantum physics also are beginning to realize this duality. Although they don’t perceive it, theoretically they realize that it is so.

However, how can we integrate these two opposites? It is absolutely impossible. It is impossible in our one-dimensional perception. We cannot even imagine what it means to be free according to our unity with the force of the Creator. In order to do so, we need to have an internal system that combines the two opposites.

Question: This means that I must be free of all the idols and graven images that I follow.

Answer: The idols and the graven images are essential for my development. I must hold on to something, like a child who holds on to some toy, a pacifier, or a blanket, and cannot manage without it. I feel the world through them.

It is impossible to advance without idols and graven images since we develop to the extent that we ascend above them. Each time I change the different deities until I ascend above these states by becoming totally free of the idols and at the same time am totally dependent on the Creator.

This phenomenon is typical of our times when the idols and graven images gradually disappear and a person seems to find himself hanging in the air. We are beginning to cleanse ourselves of them, but, at the same time, they also are flourishing and spreading. We soon will see the growing attraction to religion and more wars that are supposedly desirable to God.

Humanity somehow needs to cut off this tight and complex connection and do something about the economy and politics and the harm they have caused the world.

However, they will solve nothing by this method. The only alternative for the sufferings is the proper education of people and bringing them to the recognition of what is going on in the world. There is nothing else but that, no other method of changing man or of putting pressure on us, on the part of nature or society. This critical point is getting closer.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 11/19/14

The Laws Of Nature Contain Everything That Is Good

The Torah, “Leviticus” 26:3 – 26:4: If you follow My statutes and observe My commandments and perform them, I will give your rains in their time, the Land will yield its produce, and the tree of the field will give forth its fruit.

The Creator’s commandments are the laws of nature—both the laws of nature of our world that we partly see, understand, and know about, and the laws of the upper nature that is concealed from us—which are based on the attributes of love and bestowal, mutual cooperation, and understanding.

Your threshing will last until the vintage, and the vintage will last until the sowing; you will eat your food to satiety, and you will live in security in your land. (Leviticus 26:5).

This means that everything will return to its normal state, not only in our corporeal life when a person has everything that he needs, but also in the spiritual life. If we begin to keep the laws of the Torah, we will receive a reward on the level that we fulfill them, either on the spiritual or the corporeal level, or on both levels together.

The system is built so that if we are normally incorporated in it and fulfill our role, taking our niche in nature, all of nature operates harmoniously, thus filling each of us withharmony.

Question: What is the meaning of, “you will eat your food to satiety, and you will live in security in your land?

Answer: It refers to the two levels. One level is our human level that we feel in order to bring and adapt us to the second level, to the spiritual level. Bread is the embodiment of the attribute of Hassadim (bestowal, Bina). “You will eat your food to satiety,” means connecting to Bina and fully attaining this attribute. The word, land, stems from the word, desire (Ratzon). “And you will live in security in your land,” means that we must fulfill all the conditions in our desire, and then all the desires will be filled.

The Torah describes the structure of the system that operates and influences us, which is called the system of the spiritual worlds: Adam Kadmon, Atzilut, Beria, Yetzira, and Assiya. We advance in these Sefira, and our mutual cooperation with it is only possible when we are connected mutually in a right, harmonious manner, complementing one another and creating one whole sphere of all of humanity inside it.

If we keep this condition, we find ourselves in total harmony with the external Sefira as a result of our common desires (desire meaning land), and everything that is good fills us. We feel this system in a perfectly precise manner, and it feels us in the same manner, and thus we work together.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 11/12/14

Is Good Education The Key To Happiness?

In the News (from The Health Site): “Better education may help you earn more, but it may not make you a lot happier than those with low educational attainment, a new study claims.

“Getting a good education may not improve your life chances of happiness, showed the findings published in the British Journal of Psychiatry. …

“The researchers examined socioeconomic factors related to high mental wellbeing, such as level of education and personal finances. Low educational attainment is strongly associated with mental illness but the research team wanted to find out if higher educational attainment is linked with mental wellbeing.

“The team found all levels of educational attainment had similar odds of high mental well-being. …

“High mental wellbeing was defined as ‘feeling good and functioning well’. People with high levels of mental wellbeing manage to feel happy and contented with their lives more often than those who do not, the researchers noted.”

My Comment: As it is written in the Torah, “He who increases knowledge increases sorrow,” better less, but with the right intention, and simply, “the less you know, the better you sleep.”
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When “Frugal Bread” Turns Into “Bread of Love”

Question: Passover is a special holiday. Everybody respects it, both secular and religious people. Everybody gets ready for the Passover Seder (festive meal), cleaning the house, buying new clothes, inviting guests and contemplating how to better celebrate a Passover Seder.

I want to understand the essence and symbolic meaning of this holiday. The most important Passover symbol is Matzah. What does it denote?

Answer: Matzah symbolizes the state in which we use only our vessels of bestowal without interference of our ego, our will to receive. We are prohibited to use egoistic desires since they are Pharaoh’s property. We must rise above them. Detachment from our egoistic desires signifies the “frugal bread” or Matzah.

We have to relate to each other only with love and bestowal to the extent it is available to us. We are not ready for it yet, nor do we fully understand what it means. Passover is a “small state” (Katnut) that is associated with the lack of energy. The holiday signifies our exodus from the built-in power of egoism and transitioning to the jurisdiction of unity and love among us.

The name of the holiday, Pe-sach, means transition, leaping from egoism to love and bestowal. This crossing is a symbol of the holiday.

Passover is a celebration of freedom; it’s a runaway from the devastating ego that buries us alive. As a result of redemption, we get to be a free nation in the free land, meaning independent of our desires (country or Eretz derives from Ratzon or desire). We stop “gobbling” each other up as before. Rather, we strive to become the people of Israel, to unite and become one whole.

This is what the exodus from Egypt is. It is not a geographical or physical notion; it’s an internal sensation of reaching inner freedom from the angel of death. Our everyday life is proof that our evil nature works as an angel of death that buries us. It doesn’t let us receive pleasure and constantly forces us to fight and quarrel, and even leads us to international wars.

Egoism is not about our desire to receive standard pleasures from the family, children, good food, vacations, or travel. Ego stands for a bad attitude of one human being towards another human. It’s a desire to receive pleasure at the expense of others. This explains why exodus from the ego means an escape from hating our neighbors, from constant jealousy, our inability to tolerate others, detachment and splitting into numerous parties, and sectors.

Question: Does it require us to give up anything?

Answer: You should reject your ego that is measured only by the degree of your negativism towards others.

Question: In the long run will I win or lose in my internal sensation of happiness and contentment?

Answer: I am absolutely positive that we can only win and have nothing to lose. We suffer damages because we treat each other badly.

Question: If we return to the symbols of Passover, what does Matzah mean nowadays, in Israel of 2015?

Answer: We have to start treating each other well. It will trigger a special, good atmosphere among us. At first, our future relationships will seem too “simple” since they will lack many nuances and tastes that result from our endless arguments and misunderstandings.

We will be like good kids whose mothers beg them not to fight with each other, but they don’t feel life in peaceful behavior. Only after they get involved in conflicts with their friends do they get colorful impressions.

This is why at first it is called “frugal bread” or Matzah. Later, we start developing our relationships that not only allow us to detach from wickedness by diminishing ourselves to the degree that we no longer treat our neighbors badly, but promote abstinence in others that lets us reach good, benevolent relationships among us.

It’s as if we crawl through a narrow tunnel and gradually reach a powerful, wide road of benevolent relationships among all of us. Then, the “frugal bread” turns into the best cake, the so-called “bread of love.”
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 3/24/15