New Life 1286 – Family Care For An Elderly Parent

 

New Life 1286 – Family Care For An Elderly Parent
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

Adult children of aging parents need to come together to share the care with time, energy, and money. It is impossible to determine how to equally share care for aging parents since we don’t have any way of measuring diverse contributions. Each child has their own unique situation that cannot be accurately compared with the siblings’ contexts.

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah and an integral perspective, children must put their differences aside and meet once a month or twice a year to divide up the duties associated with caring for their aging parents in a purposeful, businesslike manner, without emotion. The wellbeing of the parents should be the focus. Each child gives what they can, whether it’s time to take the parents to medical appointments, money to pay for services in the home, or emotional warmth and care. Each one pays back the parents as though paying back the Creator since the Creator arranges our parents for us.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 1286 – Family Care For An Elderly Parent,”10/30/20

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True Love And Perfect Family

 

Question: What is true love?

Answer: True love is absolute trust, impeccable support, self-sacrifice, and confidence that you are treated the same way.

Question: Throughout the development of mankind, the concept of family has changed greatly. What is an ideal family today?

Answer: An ideal family is the same as ideal love. It is built on top of all the problems, with them, and in spite of them. Therefore, if people knew how to create bridges over problems and keep them safe, then true love is created. Love is a consequence of a very hard work over one’s own and other people’s shortcomings.

Question: What does it mean to live above problems?

Answer: Knowing all the problems, we try, without closing our eyes to them, to respect the other, value him or her, and be connected with each other without forgetting about our problems.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 9/1/20

How Do You Feel During These Difficult Days?

People, how do you feel during these days of the global coronavirus epidemic, which is pulling you into a whirlpool of feelings and thoughts? Just like in a kaleidoscope, one state replaces another, from heart attack to complete indifference. Horror waves roll one after another as if nature were whipping you in a blender. Everything that you were capable of and knew, everything you got used to for decades of your life—children, work, making money—everything is crossed out and is disappearing. How can we help you and relieve this enormous pain?

I know that you are a rational, intelligent, respected person at work. You like to have specific numbers and calculations that are above feelings. But now, you want to hear something emotional that goes right into your heart.

I will try to do this; just understand, the science of Kabbalah addresses the human heart through the mind or the mind through the heart. It combines these two opposite, completely different systems.

Our whole life is built on circles of relationships: relationships with ourselves, relationships with our spouses, with children, relationships with the Creator. Now all these relationships are undergoing revision, and most of all, our relationships with ourselves.

Coronavirus has made such a radical change in our lives that a person constantly finds himself in stress and fear, which dulls one’s mind and burdens one’s heart, like a heart attack, and in confusion, like a trapped animal.

What should you think about in order to calm down a bit and feel protected? It is worth making a complete revolution in your views on life. On the contrary, I think that before the coronavirus we lived in eternal stress and confusion, in tangled and unbalanced conditions.

We ran from morning to evening and from evening to morning to accomplish what society, bosses, family, and someone else obliged us to do. I was indebted to the bank, indebted to work, I owed, owed, owed. Such was my life.

And then something incredible called coronavirus appears. And this virus suddenly calms my whole life. I stay at home and do not go to work. Children are not wandering somewhere, nobody knows where, and they stay in their rooms, my spouse is also at home. We watch TV together or everyone is busy with their computers doing their own thing. Everything seems to be good. Probably the main reason for the confusion and fear is the possibility of lost income. Before that, everything was clear and reasonable, and suddenly, everything became incomprehensible, unclear, and every day prospects are more and more threatening. You are worried not about the distant future and time of retirement, but about the fact that there will be no money for food next week, next month.

So far, those are only fears, not reality. There are groceries in the house, the refrigerator is full. There is still some money in the bank account. These are only hypothetical fears about possible development of events. But if we live day by day, then we can say that life has become calmer.

What is the point of worrying about the possible future if you cannot help it? We do not know what will happen tomorrow, so why drive yourself crazy with excitement and fear today?

Of course, we have responsibilities for family and children, but our worries will not help in any way. What will be will be; we are all in the hands of a higher force, and all my efforts will not change anything, either in a good or bad direction. It will be as the Creator planned.

Maybe in such a state I will understand faster where the Creator is pulling me. After all, there is none else besides Him, and He always advances us toward the goal. So, let’s think about this goal and find out what the Creator wants from us. Our state is a consequence of the program of nature, and we should not think that we are smarter than it. It would be great if we understood where we are, in what universe, in what environment, under the influence of which forces.

All of it does not depend on us. We are just tiny particles of creation that think they understand something in nature. But even if we really manage to understand something in it, we would use it to our detriment. Therefore, do not regret that we did not achieve the goal that we set for ourselves because there was nothing good in it.

Before the epidemic broke out, humankind across the globe was on the verge of catastrophe, facing great adversities. Everyone has already openly talked about the impossibility of avoiding war, about the general global crisis in ecology, human relations, industry, politics, and finance. The world, built by man on the basis of his egoistic mind and feelings, was simply terrible and moved from one crisis to another.

What was good in your previous life? What are you sorry for now? Only that among all these problems, you managed to get your pitiful salary and feed your family. Did it make you feel perfect and happy? You regret that, at least, you knew everything in advance: there would be enough money by the end of the month and, if not, from where to borrow it. At least you had some certainty, and now you are nervous about the unknown. What should we do with this inner turmoil and feverish thoughts, the  “What if’s”?

Such thoughts are now tormenting most of the world’s population because this epidemic will soon cover all continents. Coronavirus swallows the whole world, all of humanity. Everyone will start to think: “What will happen to me tomorrow? Who do I depend on? How can I influence my fate? How can I guarantee myself  good today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow?”

It is very good that such questions are awakening in people and especially in young people. Is it all about money? If we are only concerned about our income, then we want to live like animals for whom the main thing is to be sure that they will be fed today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the rest is not important. So, do I want to “eat with a donkey from the same feeding trough” or am I a human, still thinking about other things?
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From KabTV’s “New Life #1214 Coronavirus. How to deal with fear?” 3/19/20

New Life #218 – Adolescence: The Consolidation Of Identity

New Life #218 – Adolescence: The Consolidation of Identity
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Summary:

Changing our early lives and adolescence is of critical importance for our development. We can help our adolescent children in developing a self-identity, an openness to change and social communication. If we go through the right educational process with a child, adolescence will not be felt as a sharp jump. Show adolescents examples of how we relate to every phenomenon “from two sides,” in a balanced way.

The adolescent will recognize negative and positive impulses, attractions and rejections that people have. In childhood, we sculpt a human image for a child, during adolescence we help him or her build a human spirit in themselves. At the end of adolescence, an internal decision must be made that success lies within the connection between people.
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From KabTV’s “New Life #218 – Adolescence: The Consolidation of Identity,” 8/1/13

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New Life #217 – Sibling Rivalry, Part 2

New Life #217 – Sibling Rivalry, Part 2
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Summary:

Parents can cultivate desirable behavior in how their children relate to each other by demonstrating their attitude toward the children’s treatment of each other. The addition of a colder, more mechanical line of judgement to the line of mercy in the parents’ approach should be introduced gradually if the sibling relationship seems to be deteriorating despite having been educated. Children should discover the need for balance in relationships. In this way, they can grow up properly and realize that their lives are in their own hands. In order for a family to become integral and round as nature requires, children must learn to compromise and treat each sibling as equally valuable.
From KabTV’s “New Life #217 – Sibling Rivalry, Part 2”, 7/28/13

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New Life #214 – Sibling Relationships, Part 1

New Life #214 – Sibling Relationships, Part 1
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Summary:

Building a proper system of communication between siblings in the family rests with the parents. What is the way to bring children to the clarification and recognition of good and evil without criticism and comparison? Family workshops and discussions help children explore undesirable qualities. Effective manners of relating to the children help them develop positive relationships with each other.
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From KabTV’s “New Life #214 – Sibling Relationships, Part 1,” 7/25/13

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“Man” And “Woman” In Kabbalistic Terms

Question: Can the Creator be revealed between a man and a woman—two opposite qualities?

Answer: There are no men and women in Kabbalah. In Kabbalah, each of us has both a male and a female root.

Question: What are “man” and “woman” from the Kabbalah point of view?

Answer: A man symbolizes the quality of bestowal without any reference to gender, and a woman symbolizes the quality of reception without any reference to gender.

Any two objects, the created being and the Creator, or different parts within the created being, can always be compared as male and female components. That is, each object can be a male part with respect to one thing and a female part with respect to another one.

Everything is determined only by the action because any object is a desire to enjoy. To the extent that the desire manifests itself in reception or bestowal, it is called a male or a female part. From the spiritual point of view, at one time I can be a woman and at another time I can be a man.

Question: However, in this world someone is born as a man and someone as a woman. Why does this happen?

Answer: It is because based on the upper roots, the same distribution occurs on the animate level. But these gender differences mean almost nothing. We are entering the era of complete spiritual equality. Women will express their spiritual aspirations exactly in the same way as men do.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/10/17

New Life #521 – The Magical Secret Of The Family

New Life #521 – The Magical Secret Of The Family 
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

The values and habits one gets while growing up in a family are engraved in him for a lifetime. The family is first and foremost the mother. A boy is connected to his mother for his whole life. From her, he moves into the hands of his wife.

Summary

If a woman envelops a man in an atmosphere like in the home of his mother, he will treat her with love like his mother. A woman who builds such an atmosphere for her husband at home, her husband will really be hooked to the family.

A woman’s nature is revolutionary, is adaptable and flexible, she adapts to everything. However, a man always remains a child who wants his mother.

Today the family is in crisis where we are about to move toward a new form of relationship between people, included in the new approach will be we are all one family. Evolution is forcing us to learn to develop love. In the future family, the upper force will dwell, the force of love, bestowal, and connection, a power that comes from above our nature.

People are getting divorced today because they feel an emptiness that nothing can fill. Something is missing for them. In the future connection, people will build a family together because they will feel that it brings them to a higher goal. About this it is written, “When husband and wife are worthy, the Shechina abides with them” (Sotah 17a).

This is the discovery of the upper force, eternal life. The upper force is the force of love and bestowal, it is higher than our natural egoistic attitude to those around us. In a family, a person will life without restriction, full of discernments, joys, and happy children.
From KabTV’s “New Life #521 – The Magical Secret Of The Family,” 2/15/15

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Sex: Outdated Laws

Comment: The commander of Ayalon prison was under house arrest because of sexual harassment, although it later turned out that it was romantic love.

Answer: We are nearing the correction of the world. Ouregoism kept growing throughout history and thus determined our evolution. But in the last 150 years the ego has begun to grow exponentially. In the past people didn’t think about sex so much. In ancient Rome and ancient Greece, for example, different celebrations and distortions were part of the elite’s life.

The life of ordinary people was very hard and they only thought about how to survive. They had several children, but they could never know how many of them would survive. Therefore this issue wasn’t relevant then.

Now, however, the growing ego is revealed in the form of sex since we are quite satisfied with regard to food. Therefore sexual desire is growing sharply, changing its forms beyond the ordinary frameworks of traditional sexual relations.

Different impulses, which humanity never encountered before emerge. We can see school children as young as 10 years old surfing pornographic websites, etc. It seemed that it would pass, but it isn’t, it keeps developing, taking on new forms each time.

The point is that man first develops in his desires for food, sex, family, and then there are the desires for wealth, respect, power, and knowledge.

But as I have already said, people are generally satisfied when it comes to food so it is time now for people to be satisfied sexually, just like they are with regard to food.

In the past sexual impulses were minor and a person could satisfy them in the framework of the family, but today it is erupting everywhere and all the time. After all, people live much longer now and while in the past a couple was married for 30 years and then died, today they live together for 50 years. This means that we are facing a totally different humanity, a different atmosphere, a different connection between people!

Why has the divorce rate increased so much? It is because the mutual relations between people are not meant to be for so long, not to speak of the egoism they have today.

Generally speaking, we should approach all the problems we encounter today in a totally different manner. We have not developed a new systematic perspective of modern relations between men and women, but we see how everything falls apart and that everything is temporary, casual and therefore an affair between a commander and a female prison guard is inevitable. Perhaps it makes no difference that he is a commander and that she is subordinate to him because if such relations do exist, it is very hard to resist them.

A person suddenly begins to feel that it is the main thing in his life. On the one hand we think: “What is going on?! A grown man, a prison commander, in such a post, he has three kids, a family…” She may also be in the same situation, and suddenly this happens. I believe that we cannot remain in outdated frameworks although the law strongly forbids such behavior.

We must understand the current state of man. Many may criticize me, but we cannot live according to the old principles and according to the old rules today. We have to change our approach to life every day, according to our ego.

The current laws were written 50 years ago, and you cannot accept them today like you did in the past. If 50 years ago 90% of the women were virgins when they got married, today hardly 10% of them are and men don’t care what the woman they marry did before they met.

Question: Does this mean that you endorse the legislation of new laws concerning this issue?

Answer: I believe in laws that go along with current circumstances. We have changed and the circumstances have changed, but the laws have remained the same. We put the laws above us instead of changing them to suit the circumstances, the relationships that we encounter in humanity today. Under no circumstances can we use the frameworks of the Middle Ages today!

We will not achieve anything this way but will only destroy people’s lives. They will not go along with the outdated laws anyway! Laws regarding mutual social relations and formal laws of conduct will differ. People will begin to disrespect and hate them. They need to be changed since otherwise society will be ill.

We should have social debates; debates on TV and on the social networks, everywhere. We have to work on this in public institutions and suggest changes in legislations and regulate them so that the laws constantly change according to the changes in society.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/16/15

Love Exists Only Above Egoism

Question: If I correct myself to the extent that I can love my husband unconditionally, no matter what he is like, would I still see his shortcomings?

Answer: If I ask the force from above to correct me and help me see my spouse without any conditions, then I see him completely corrected. This is called “Love will cover all crimes.”

Similarly, a mother does not see any flaws in her child since to he is the best, smartest, and most attractive.

Question: So I rise above my displeasure of a certain quality of my husband, ask to correct my attitude to love, and then suddenly it seems good to me?

Answer: The only way to come to love is by correcting yourself. I am not trying to overlook my partner’s flaws and deceive myself, but I rise above them, as I want to love him as he is.

But correction needs to start with love of friends. Until we begin to correct the relationships between all of us, we will not be able to correct the relationships within a family. This is why the institution of the family is falling apart and will continue to deteriorate further. It will come to the point where children will be killing their parents, and parents will be devouring their own children in the most literal sense.

Comment: But people are seeking romantic love, not love of friends.

Answer: This is because people are looking for material, egoistic love, which they will never find. Love exists only above egoism, and one should look for it inside oneself.

There is no need to look for an attractive object to love. The moment I realize what true love is, I should look for a partner who also understands how to achieve it.

And in that case, it does not matter whether or not we like each other’s appearance. I would come to a wise person and tell him about my desire to marry, and he would find me a suitable partner with whom we can build a correct family.

Such spouses want to find love that is above them. This is why they are not concerned about their spouse’s face or character, but only their willingness to build a relationship of mutual love that is above all shortcomings. They understand that each one needs to correct oneself, and in that measure, they will come closer and connect.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 8/30/15

A Love That Never Dies

Question: Are you saying that love between a married couple is not enough and that they need to reach love between the Creator and the creature?

Answer: We don’t find any love in married couples nowadays. Our family relationships are in a state of the mournful day of the ninth ofAv.

The destruction is felt in our entire lives, the relationships between parents and children, the boss and the workers, and between cabinet members as well. There is no understanding anywhere.

Question: There are many types of love, love for children, parents, close relatives, and so forth, but why is there a special romance in the love between a man and a woman?

Answer: Love is when I fulfill the desire of another person before my own desire. I need to know and feel what the other wants so that his desire becomes more important than my own.

This is the most general definition of love, but it fits all cases. The bond of marriage is just more encompassing than others since this connection includes mutual obligations, the experience of living together, knowing the partner, children in common, a common home and money, and a feeling of security and a guarantee of support in difficult times. A marriage is unification in this world with all the consequences that follow.

However, in the spiritual world, you are able to know your partner in a new way every moment. It is written that Malchut becomes a virgin again every day, and hence, a new relationship begins as if you weren’t familiar with her.

It seems that we lack this aspect in our regular life and family. If a married couple were on the spiritual level, they could renew their corporeal relationship every day.

Once, three and a half thousand years ago, the nation of Israel lived this way. Let’s hope that soon we will return to that and learn to reveal new qualities in each other every day. Then, it will be correct, true love, which is renewed at every moment.

Meanwhile, today, in order to enliven our relationship even slightly and feel a connection, we are forced to fight. Upon making up after a fight, the flavor of love, which was dulled, is renewed.

However, it is impossible to get used to spiritual love. It changes all the time. New conditions are revealed constantly, and thus the love is rejuvenated all the time.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

Understanding Each Other Without Words

Question: Is it possible to have such perfect family relations that I feel everything my partner is experiencing as if it is happening in my own body?

Answer: It is possible, and moreover, we need to achieve this mutual feeling not only in the family, but on the scale of all of humanity in order to be one person with one heart.

After all, from the very beginning we belonged to one body, one desire. All matter is desire manifesting itself in different ways at different levels. Originally only one desire was created, but then because of the fall of Adam and the breakage, we lost the ability to feel as one person.

But now we need to return to that, despite the fact that our growing egoism amplified all feelings manyfold. Complete breakage and destruction prevail between us.

But when we unite on the day of love, the 15^th of Av, after all the darkness and mutual hatred that are revealed on the 9^th of Av, then we will reach a magnificent unity that is 620 times more powerful than before.

Question: In a perfect spiritual family, spouses never quarrel with one another?

Answer: Together we try to uncover what kind of disagreement or misunderstanding still remains between us. But all of this happens under the rays of Light that illuminate the darkness, since the benefit of Light is attained only out of darkness.

We uncover the dark areas and understand why this darkness is necessary, for it sharpens the taste of our relationship, like pepper or mustard added to a dish.

Question: What should be the first step toward a perfect marital relationship, since we are presently as remote as the east is from the west?

Answer: Try to perceive each other as if you belong to one whole. Begin to cultivate these inner feelings within yourselves, so that each would start to feel the other as oneself. And then you will be able to feel each other together without words.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

The Family Of The Future Is A Fusion Of Minds And Hearts

Question: What does an earthly family with a corrected spiritual relationship look like?

Answer: It is difficult to say since we have not yet seen such examples in our lives. For now, we are still in a state of breakage, in exile.

Therefore, since the time of Rabbi Akiva, after the destruction of the Temple, we know nothing about such families who would correspond to the corrected spiritual relationship with the Creator.

Moreover, it is written about how Kabbalists of the past suffered because of their wives who often had very difficult personalities and presented many grievances and demands. Kabbalists accepted it as inevitable and a consequence of the breakage and exile in which we exist.

A spiritual couple should feel as if it exists in one body, in common agreement and understanding, completing each other in a fusion of minds, hearts, and mutual intentions. Everything that exists in the body of the other, in their mind and heart, I accept as my own thoughts and feelings.

And these are not just nice words but are truly felt even on the most earthly, physiological level. If something is hurting in your partner, then you feel this pain in your body, even if they do not tell you about it. This is a complete union of bodies in accordance with the union of souls.

We will come to this state as soon as we begin to correct ourselves in relation to our general love for one another.
[164365]From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

Love Is Paradise

Question: Many of my friends feel unhappy because they cannot find a suitable partner. What should one do in order to find true love?

Answer: First of all, you need to stop expecting some extraordinary qualities from others and find a person who understands how a relationship of love should be built.

Love is based only on concessions and on the fact that each yields in relation to their partner and enjoys having the opportunity to do so.

I do not demand from my partner special attention and care; on the contrary, all of my pleasure is in the fact that I am canceling myself for his or her sake.

Question: What is the pleasure in yielding to someone?

Answer: This is called love. When you give something to your child, don’t you receive great pleasure? The same can happen with respect to your spouse. You just feel that a child is closer to yourself in a natural, animal way, since you feel him as a part of yourself.

Your wife is also somewhat yours, but nevertheless she exists separately, is next to you, and has an independent opinion. But through the correction of love, this distance is erased, which is difference between my desires and her desires.

Presently, I feel only my own desire and hardly any desires of my partner. My desire is more important to me than his or hers. But it is said, “Make your desire like His, so He would make His desire like yours.” This is the condition of love.

Our desires need to unite into one. This is called adhesion. “Husband and wife, andShechina between them,” as if we are one body. It is very simple, we only lack proper education.

To be able to love, a person needs to be brought up, educated, and prepared in special courses. There is a lack of such education for all of humanity. Until we learn how to reach such relationships, we will remain unhappy.

Question: Everyone is looking for love, but how do you convince people to attend such courses? I doubt that they will like this condition of sacrificing themselves.

Answer: This is because we are deceiving ourselves. We think that we are winning whenever we insist on taking a stand. But who benefits from this deception? We want to love and fulfill only ourselves by using our loved ones, our families. Ultimately, it brings us neither pleasure nor love.

We need to teach a person how to fulfill himself in the correct form, which is perfect and eternal. And this fulfillment is only possible by loving another, since one can always give to others and fulfill them endlessly, continuously deriving pleasure from it.

It is a continuous cycle that always comes back to me, and in this manner, I reach a feeling of absolute, eternal love, and even more—eternal life.

Since then I am not consuming myself and my environment, but on the contrary, I bring to life everyone around me with my love. Thus, I reach the feeling of unending ascent to a higher dimension, to the Garden of Eden, to eternal life. Love is paradise.

Therefore, there is no need to be searching somewhere for love, you simply need to build it.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

A Unified Family

Question: If there is some kind of problem in cooperation between the partners in a family, is it worthwhile to include the child as a judge in their relationship?

Answer: Leo Tolstoy said, “Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (Anna Karenina). After all, we are talking about human psychology, and here it is impossible to give any clear general directions, conditions, or rules.

Later, once the family stabilizes its integral mutual cooperation, there will be equality among all the members of the family , confirming that all happy families are alike. But the miserable ones are different.

Question: How would problems be solved through a family council? First examine them, then talk with each other about how good we are, and then look for ways to solve them?

Answer: It is necessary to try everything. After the parents have demonstrated a mutual integral relationship to a child, against his will, he becomes “cooked” in the integral pot. Then it is possible to bring him into this process gradually. The parents themselves will feel when, on what level, under what conditions, and in what aspects it is possible to bring him in as a third party. Also, this should be done gradually so that it isn’t begun with deep internal discussions about the purpose of life, but a discussion about small daily problems, for example, about where to spend vacation or other questions close to a child.

Question: Suppose that the parents dream of building a vacation home outside the city. Is it possible to discuss this with the child?

Answer: Certainly, gather the entire family together, present the project, and discuss the details. A child who is involved with the architectural design will begin to consider how he can help in this and begin to offer his own ideas.

However, we must be very careful that he is excited about your architectural ideas, that he will not lose his taste for the discussion itself, that he will be integrated with them as part of a complete integral unit, and won’t just begin imagining his drawings. The goal must always be up front and remain the main thing, and your communication and unity with as a threesome is just a tool.
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From KabTV’s “Conversations with Michael Laitman” 12/11/13

What Distinguishes The Family Of The Future?

Question: What is the ultimate force of nature, which will operate in the future family? Is it related to religion?

Answer: It is not about religion, but about the fact that we are all connected to each other above our egoism. It is written that theShechina (divine presence) abides between a husband and wife.

The future of the family lies in the action of the upper force of nature upon it, the force of love, unity, and mutual bestowal. In such a family we will be connected by the ties that are above our animal level.

Due to the family, a person will have more than a warm and cozy family nest where one feels safe and receives help in case of illness and old age. We will build a network of relationships between us, inside of which we will reveal the force of bestowal and lovethat exists above our nature.

Question: Why are there families which seemingly enjoy full material prosperity, but feel they that they lack family warmth?

Answer: It is for this reason that people divorce. They feel a void that cannot be filled by anything. The family does not have what I want. And what I want, I do not know.

People feel that they need a new form of family ties, but do not know where to look for or how to find them. And thus they get divorced.

The family of the future will have a new connection that leads a married couple to a higher purpose for which it is worthwhile living together. Indeed, if not for this, then what is the point of having a family?

You can buy prepared food in a supermarket, do your laundry in an automatic washing machine, so you can invite a woman over for an evening. Children can be visited once a week, and indeed, we do not see them often because we work so much. What benefits does the family add to our fully arranged, comfortable life?

Question: What is missing in today’s family?

Answer: The family lacks a higher purpose other than conventional, material animal wellbeing. We are required to reveal the human degree in our family in order to discover the Shechina between us, to reveal the upper force, and to have an eternal and perfect life. And it really can be achieved through connection within the family, with other families, and eventually with the whole world.

The upper force is the force of love and bestowal. It is called “upper” because it is above us, above the egoists, who are opposite to it, love only themselves, and do not love others.

Question: What will we feel in the future family that we do not have today?

Answer: We will feel a life without any restrictions and one filled will all flavors. We will need the whole world. Our family will be in such a connection with the other families that we feel confident, joyful, restricted by nothing. Children will grow up in this atmosphere and will be brought up according to it. We must come to this.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 2/15/15

Singles Versus Families

In the News (Presz Pospolita): “In the Western nations there was a form of responsibility that worked previously which took into account the possibility that one allowed another to use part of his freedom in exchange for allowing the reciprocal possibility. Freedom is optional now, it belongs in the category of being a right.

“A free person is someone who reveals a readiness to subjugate himself and those around him in the pursuit of attaining something better. Previous cooperation is changed into stiff competition. Freedom becomes egoism, altruism becomes subjugation. The progressives call a family based on mutual altruism among its members, patriarchal slavery.

“The differences between the roles of men and women became less rigid. Aggressive competition leads to a lack of common goals, a lack of closeness and support. A single person is happier when he feels that he is living correctly, so he conducts war everywhere against the family and its foundation.

“Single people are a product of the welfare state which has collapsed, created following a competitive struggle for survival. The more single people there are, the more rigid and sharp the struggle. They are the reason for the breakdown of society, like a building in which the common good has lost its value, and in its place come the egoistic interests of single people.

“Egoism is a characteristic that typifies a lack of maturity and childishness. It is easy to manipulate immature people. The flexibility and the rightness of their actions, which developed following a lack of familial obligations, is a great advantage.

“A single person in his closed space is not as happy as he seems, but he is not ready to recognize this. If being single is a conscious choice, then it cannot be considered a sign of happiness and a desire to be free. Rather, it indicates the existence of emotional problems, since people were not created to be single and live in solitude.”

My Comment: I think the destruction of families is the result of the growing egoism, as is the growing violence of people and nations. All of this brings us to a need to rethink the essence of our development and the need to find a solution. This solution is applying the principle of unity above all the defects and contradictions in everyone and society as a whole.
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The Far-Reaching Implications Of Domestic Quarreling

Our good fortune depends upon establishing good relationships between us. I try to do this in every way, but suddenly there is an explosion and somebody takes me out of balance and away from the right direction. In order to maintain this intention, we must have general agreement, a system of education that is designed especially for this purpose..

This is what must be taught to children at school, so that they will not behave the way they do today. This is a nationwide problem that must be solved on a national scale, and doesn’t just depend on someone’s desire or lack of desire.

No one wants this since it is contrary to our ego and not easy to realize. So we must create a system of education that will bring us closer to one another.

Our entire salvation is only in this. Two thousand years ago the people of Israel lost their land precisely because of unfounded hatred. Today we have again found ourselves in a dangerous situation, so let’s get closer to each other.

Baal HaSulam writes: All of our hope is in recreating a national education that is designed to discover the natural love that is latent in our people so that by all means we will go back and revive the same national muscles which have not operated in us for two millennia.

From the days of our father Abraham, who left Babylon, until the destruction of the second Beit HaMikdash (Temple), that is, for about 1,500 hundred years, the people of Israel lived in complete unity.

Question: What does it mean to live in unity? Does it mean that there won’t be any quarrels with one’s wife at home?

Answer: For this, it is necessary to have education that will lead to good attitudes, including women and children.

Question: This sounds like some kind of utopia. What exactly will happen with people? Will they stop being egoists?

Answer: People will be able to control their ego. You won’t do this to become good and to not quarrel with your wife, but because through quarreling, you are destroying the lives of all people in the world. This is specifically you, and even because you quarreled with your wife.

Imagine that your relationship with your wife influences the relationships of an immense number of men with their wives, because you are a Jew.

Question: So if a Frenchman quarrels with his wife, this doesn’t influence others as strongly?

Answer: No, this doesn’t have an influence in the way that a Jewish man quarreling with his wife does. This is because Jews are the first in the general system who must realize the law of Arvut (mutual guarantee), the connection between everyone. And after that, the whole world must also be included in this law of Arvut, in the general unity. It is specifically towards general unity that nature is pushing us, towards general unity.
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From Israeli Radio Program 103FM, 3/08/15