Why Don’t We Feel The Upper Light?

Question: If we talk about the Light, then what is the suffering that I feel?

Answer: It depends on the suffering: love or hate.

Suffering is the absence of the desired. If I wish to give to someone, to please, and I cannot, this is one type of suffering. If, on the contrary, I want to receive and do not receive, this is another type of suffering.

Question: It is said that if the Light of life is not clothed in the Light of mercy, it is like a sharp knife. What does this mean?

Answer: Any Light coming to us should be clothed in the quality of bestowal, to transfer it to others, and then it will be for our benefit. We must prepare for this, otherwise the Light will not come.

We do not feel the upper Light because we do not have the desire to pass it on to others. As soon as I transform myself into a conductor of Light, then immediately the upper Light opens up in me to the extent that I am opened to others.

Question: Can we then say that when I feel pain and suffering, it means that the Light of life (Hochma) is not clothed in the Light of mercy (Hassadim), in my bestowal?

Answer: Yes, I close it within myself, and it presses on me, wishing to enter.
[232571]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 4/15/18