A Crisis In Familial Connections

In general, nature obligates us to have extended connections in order to form stable environments for a person that will accompany him throughout his whole life, regardless of the processes and situations that he experiences.

However, even though we understand the original specifications of nature, we also see our defects that make it impossible to withstand the demands of nature and don’t permit the building of a normal life, even in merely physiological terms.

As far as it seems, this requires work from our side, hard work that is not easy that is inherent only in human freedom of choice. And the freedom of thought, word, and deed, which makes it possible to construct an independent life, is particularly expressed in the right approach regarding family. Accordingly, we must fulfill what is not activated within us instinctively through our nature.

I must be loyal to family, loyal to the nurturing and education of children until they are able to stand on their own and begin to establish their own families. And according to Jewish tradition, even though a person reaches adulthood at the age of thirteen and truly becomes an adult and independent at the age of twenty, even this is relative. Until then, nature obligates us to take care of him.

Nowadays it is difficult for people to sustain a family for such a long period of time. This again testifies to the crisis we are found in.

Fifty or sixty years ago, divorces seemed like a big disaster. People discussed such cases as something surprising and not understandable, as something exceptional. So as long as there was no social agreement about this issue, divorces were not easy and acceptable. People became divorced in very rare cases. Today it is difficult even to imagine what would have to happen for people to be ready for this type of situation.

However, in the last half century, the situation has changed dramatically. Now most couples get divorced, people get married a few times and raise children from different marriages. This no longer surprises anyone. Women sometimes prefer to have children without a husband and generally don’t want to marry.

When I appear before an audience, I sometimes ask an audience of 2,000 to 3,000, “How many single people are there present in this hall?” In this way they become aware that up to 80% of the participants are not in a familial relationship. And this is about people between the ages of 30-40 on average.

After that I ask: “Who among you is ready to get married?” Then most of those who respond positively are men, not women, which confirms that this is true. Somewhere inside, women don’t feel a need for family and children. Maybe something lacking is somehow burdensome to them, but to decide to marry and begin to create familial relationships, to feel involved and committed, is so difficult for our growing ego that they prefer to remain single.

They can take care of themselves relatively easily. They can provide themselves with all the necessities. Especially in our day, women often work better than men. In addition, they know how to manage home economics. Even though they are busy, they remain sufficiently free of all kinds of obligations and are open to the opportunities that the modern world offers.

On the other hand, it is not so easy for men. They lack the feminine care, they feel a bit more “suspended in air” than women, and often they are not prepared to take care of themselves. However, they also see family as a burden, a heavy yoke. If it were possible, modern man would prefer his mother over his wife. Family and children with all of their implications are not for him.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/22/14