War With Myself

Question: I was constantly at war with the Creator and I always argued that only I exist. And He, the good and benevolent, let me do this, and after that He took everything from me and brought me to a Bnei Baruch group.

The fact that there is a group and a teacher is proof that “There is none else besides Him.” The Creator always teaches me to nullify myself in regard to the group and all that I have left is fear and awe that because of this nullification I could miss the action called “I will hasten it” (Achishena).

Answer: But it is specifically the approach towards the Creator through the group that is called hastening (Achishena).

Question: So why do I feel this fear?

Answer: Because you are not in a covenant, with the group or with the Creator. You don’t have any faith to fall into the hands of the group, the teacher, and all the more so, the Creator. How can you nullify yourself if you don’t have an inclination like this?

Question: Meaning that I feel an indication that I am not there yet?

Answer: Indications gradually change, become more subtle, precise, and narrow.

Time is running out, and you need to feel for yourself how you are advancing forward. Are you placing yourself in the right way regarding the group or do you have many philosophical thoughts that come out of your egoistic mind? You cannot trust this intellect and rely upon it; this is impossible.

You need to rise above everything that is in you today. Spirituality is on the next level and you want to rise to it by using your present emotions and intellect. It will not happen.
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From the World Zohar Week “Integral Education Convention” Day Three 2/4/14, Lesson 1