My Favorite Grain Of Sand In The Creator’s Universe

Question: In his letter No. 29, Baal HaSulam writes that “prohibition is the same as permission, since the key that is good for locking is also good for unlocking.” What kind of “key” does he mean?

Answer: The key is the Light of Hassadim, the intention to bestow. On one hand, we can lock ourselves with this key and thus bar the Light from entering our egoistic desires. On the other hand, we can open ourselves for the Light that dresses in the intention to bestow. Under this condition, the Light is allowed to enter the desire to receive. Bina refuses to receive; therefore, Bina is against the Light ofHochma. How does it open itself for the Light of Hochma after restriction occurs? It turns itself into a “garment for the Light,” into a condition. We are ready to receive treats from the Host’s table under the condition that He allows us to think about Him, rather than our stomachs.

If we keep thinking of the Creator while we continue receiving pleasures, if we feel Him and understand that He enjoys us, then our sensations become a million times bigger than those that we get from a direct self-indulgence. We multiply the pleasure because we understand the significance of the Host and feel love for Him. And that is how we become ready to accept the treats.

So, Bina blocks only a small amount of the Light (Nefesh de Nefesh) that it could have received directly in the desire to receive. It opens itself to the Light of NRNHY, the infinite Light of the Creator. It implies that the key that locks the door also unlocks it. As it is said: “Open a tiny space the size of an eye of a needle for Me and I will open gates through which carts and chariots enter.”

We can’t receive directly more than a thin ray of Light that supports life in all of us and revives the entire world. The intention to bestow multiplies a tiny live spark and expands it to the size of the Creator if we strive to bestow to Him.

We “use” the Creator as a magnifying glass and amplify a thin ray that formed all of creation, all of matter. We increase both the matter and the pleasure proportionately to the greatness of the Creator in our eyes. This opportunity is granted to us by a “tool” that is called “the intention to bestow.”

It is called “bestowal,” but due to it we receive the opportunity and acquire the ability to increase our desire to receive that was shaped by the Creator “out of nothing.” It’s similar to a tiny grain of sand, a tip of the needle that we can multiply proportionately to the Creator’s “scale” so that it can be filled with the Light that is as powerful as the Creator Himself.

It happens because we begin working in bestowal “on the tip of a needle,” on a “tiny grain of sand,” of a desire to receive that was created by Him. We receive one gram of delight and simply cannot “fit” more into this small desire that is as little as a grain of sand. However, if we manage to expand it for the sake of bestowal, it is crucially important for whose sake we do it. Thus, we multiply our desire and the delight proportionately to the scale of His love for us, as an infant who smiles at his mother and thus causes huge joy in her.

It’s the “patent” we use, a miraculous opportunity granted to us by the Creator. We use its power and strength of His love for us by expanding ourselves with its help. Otherwise, we would be the lowest creatures in the world. All other levels of nature (inanimate, vegetative, and animate) fulfill themselves directly, whereas by the mere fact that we are born as people, we go through all prior levels (inanimate, vegetative, and animate) and there is only one thing left for us, a point in the heart that is completely empty of any fulfillment.

Because we are so unhappy, a tiny spark awakens in us. It’s a desire to receive pleasure at the speaking level that now still remains empty in us. If we fail to receive the Creator’s power and won’t take “advantage” of His love and His kind attitude toward us by using it to “magnify” ourselves by this quality, we’ll be left with a scanty and hollow desire. Even death is better than such kind of life…

Luckily, we are given a chance to receive the power of the Creator if we treat each other in a correct way. That’s why the shattering and all other kinds of preparations from Above happened, so that people can feel a need to love or at least realize the necessity to unite.
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From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/25/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam, “Letter 29”