The Point Of Choice Between Two Abysses

Rabash, “Association of Mercy with Judgment”: … when there is open Providence, there is no room for choice. For this reason, the Upper One raised Malchut, which is Midat Ha Din (the Quality of Judgment) to the Eynaim (eyes). This created a concealment, meaning it became apparent to the lower one that there is a deficiency in the Upper One.

On one hand, the Upper One is elevated, and on the other hand, the lower one doesn’t find Him appealing; there is something repulsive. On one hand, a spark in the desire (apoint in the heart) is anxious to attain spirituality. Moreover, the external world presses on us and concocts numerous negative circumstances; it does not promise any pleasures except the ones that we might receive in the future. On the other hand, we have to compromise, since we clearly see a deficiency in the upper.

What kind of deficiency is that? The upper one is not as bright, attractive, or beautiful as we thought.

In that state, the qualities of the Upper One are placed with the lower one; that is, they are deficient. It follows that these Kelim (vessels) are equal to the lower one: as there is no sustenance to the lower one, there is no sustenance to the Higher qualities.

Here are the sensations that the lower one goes through: At first, I really aspired to the next stage, I rushed to it more and more, and then I discovered what the meaning of my next step is. It turned out to be unity with and love for my friends. It turns out that I have to feel them all as one heart; I also have to give up a lot of things; moreover I should be applying lots of exertions and be happy with what I do. And, I don’t feel happy at all…

A place between the two gaps is in fact a point of choice. Every day, each of us senses an endless number of these points. If we happen to clasp them and select the right one, or at least try to do so, then we would discover the upper one within the shortest time possible. We should never miss them! Although, when these moments happen, we don’t feel any need in anything at all; we simply surrender to our sensations and continue to live our miserable lives.

While analyzing our next, higher, and more advanced state, we discover that it is full of concerns and that it brings lots of problems to our current egoism. One has to love one’s friends, serve them, think of them, and take good care of them, treat them better than oneself.

“Who needs it? Are we capable of this kind of behavior?” Doesn’t it mean that we sense a deficiency in the upper one or that we don’t find enough energy or life sustenance in Him? Sometimes, for a couple of minutes we feel a nice sensation, an inspiration; however, as a rule it is the other way around.

It is called a descent: One neither feels life in the upper one, nor does one find it in the state of bestowal, love, or unity. One has no desire to correct oneself.

In that state, there is room for choice.

This is exactly a state that offers us a choice. It’s a very important moment of self-acknowledgment: I don’t want anything, I have no needs, I am getting weak, and am ready to surrender unless the state I am in modifies itself without my participation. There is nothing that attracts me, neither in material nor spiritual life: I feel hopeless in both worlds.

… the lower one must say that all this concealment that one feels is because the Upper One restricted Himself in favor of the lower one. This is called, “when Israel is in exile, Divinity is with them.”

In such cases, we should come to an understanding that the upper one deliberately “plays” this game with us. He cannot do otherwise; He cannot embrace and elevate me as if I were a balloon. If He did so, I would never attain anything and would remain a baby in the adult’s hands forever. Of course, a baby feels good and safe; he can even play at the height he is elevated to, but he doesn’t grow.

The lower one grows only if he strives to reach the upper. One cannot abide without personal exertions. The upper one should not raise the lower one if the latter doesn’t partake in the process. Otherwise, the upper one simply would “destroy” the lower one by not letting him grow and advance. It’s similar to a situation when parents do their child’s homework for the child.

So, we have to realize that the upper one helps us absolutely every given moment. There shouldn’t be even one second of waiting for something to happen on His behalf as if He ever hesitates. From the point of view of the upper one, we are always in the optimum state for our further advancement. We should keep paying attention to various signs through which He addresses us by His intentionally descending to our current state.

…whatever flavor one tastes, one says that it is not his fault for not tasting liveliness, but that in his view there really is no life in the Upper One.

Although, one has to clearly understand what is going on.

And if one becomes stronger and says that the bitter taste he finds in these nourishments is only because he does not have the proper vessels to receive the abundance, because his vessels are for reception and not for bestowal, and regrets the Upper One having to hide Himself…

So, our vessels, desires, are corrupt. In fact, if the upper one would descend to us, we would sense Infinity since each of our next steps is the world of Infinity for us. That is why it has not been disclosed to us yet: We don’t recognize it in our vessels. We perceive it only within a very narrow range; whereas, there is something enormous and multi-faceted in front of us. We simply don’t see the higher level; it covers up everything around from one horizon to another; there are no boundaries that define the space for us.

As a result, the upper one descends to us in the form of a depressed, unsafe, and corrupt world. Moreover, we approach states and sensations that will be even more devastating for us. The upper one lowers to us in order to let us sense Him. The lower He is, the worse we and the world around us will look in our eyes, since our properties are opposite to His.

That’s the reason we are currently experiencing a crisis; the upper one approaches us, thus making us unconsciously sense the difference between Him and us. The “crisis” is a gap between our current state and the state of the upper one. We have to come to balance and stay in harmony with Him, and that requires integral education that will help us understand Him better.

In general, this is a point of freewill. We have to realize that each thing that we sense as being less than Infinity is a state that was specifically formed for us by the upper one in order to give us a chance to choose.

It means that we should feel sorry not about the fact that the world we live in is bad and that we are miserable here, but rather about the point that the upper one had to lower to us, to diminish Himself and present Himself as being smaller than He really is, and that He even had to look unappealing and evil in our eyes.

…this allows the lower one to slander; this is considered MAN that the lower one raises.

On one hand, we notice that the upper one is low; besides, the higher level doesn’t look attractive to us yet. On the other hand, we recognize that it only seems so to us in our sensations. If we perceived the world through real vessels, we would regard the upper one as the Infinity within us. This discrepancy is the core difference between this realm and the world of Infinity.

So, at this point we raise MAN: our request to be corrected. We look for possibilities to justify Him, nothing but validation of Him. Let our states stay the same; let them not bring us any pleasant sensations anymore: All we need is to justify His actions and thank Him for acting so. Consequently, we don’t ask for our own sake, but rather for the sake of the upper one. We request power and understanding, but we don’t ask for sensations; all we should care about is the justification of Him no matter that we continue feeling bad. If our sensations improve, we will egoistically praise Him. No, that’s not what we need. On the contrary, we want our sensations to remain the same, but rather that our understanding and perception be altered. Thus, we grow.

We consist of two parts: intellect and emotions, aspirations and desires. We go forward using both of them as we use both legs while walking. Let’s say, I want to stay in my current sensations, and by “leaning” on this “leg” I make a step ahead with the other “leg”; that is, I stop being blind, see my current state, and justify it, or let’s say I want to expand my brain, then if my sensations remain intact, I really advance since I justify my emotional state although I continue to suffer, but I realize that I grow due to my affliction. I am not sold out to or bribed by a good sensation.

Later on, when our minds expand, we will lean on our new intellect, and if it stays the same, we will ascend to the next level of sensations. Besides, our emotions will not overshadow the intellect, as it happens when pleasures force us to lose our mind.

It’s the other way around; we make one step with one “leg,” while at the same time leaning on the other “leg”: When we fix our emotions, our intellect rises; when we fix the mind, our sensations rise. Consequently, we go through endless changes in both our minds and sensations.
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From the North Convention of Unity 9/20/12, Lesson 2