Who I Am Is Who I Will Be

According to the laws of interaction between the Light and the vessel, we have to go through the gravest misfortunes on the path toward the goal. And that’s where the science of Kabbalah comes to our rescue, helping us avoid having these blows come down on our animate flesh and instead transferring them to the human level, to the height we should be on.

Today I am receiving blows from three levels: still, vegetative, and animate. They are whipping me along on the human level. Stated differently, I am being pushed from behind by a bad force, evil, suffering. And I can only obtain one means to help me, a yearning, an attraction forward, coming from the wonderful goal that illuminates my path like the sun. In that case, I will still experience suffering, but it will be the sweet suffering of love.

It is easier to bear this kind of sorrow because it is caused by a longing for the good future. I feel disappointed and fall into despair, but I do not run away because I understand that these pains have to reach a specific, total measure (Σ), similar to how penny after penny eventually adds up to a big sum.

I accumulate great pressure within, a great desire to make a leap toward the goal. I need a gap between me today and the corrected me. And this gap has to be felt as suffering, caused by the difference between who I am and who I should be. This is unavoidable. This abyss has to open up inside of me, but there is absolutely no need for it to be created by wars, diseases, and other disasters.

The real correction is just starting now, when humanity is starting to come together, to merge as one man with one heart, either unwillingly, under a torrent of negative forces from behind, or with the help of the Light that flows ahead. It is impossible to describe how these two paths differ. After all, we have to open up Malchut of the world of Infinity, either in the darkness of inconceivable suffering which purifies our egoism, or in the Light that reforms.

Thus, everything comes down to how we will experience the abyss separating us from correction. We can overcome the path willingly, by agreeing with it, by building an environment that supports us; or we can ignore the solution as long as possible until the pressure from behind forces us to understand from where, why, and for what the disasters are happening, which we cannot escape no matter how much we try.

A person may need decades to get smarter and reveal the Light. And that is why the science of Kabbalah was given to us. But one way or another, this gap between the Creator and creation, between the receiver and the Giver, has to be felt inside of us to the fullest.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/9/11, Writings of Baal HaSulam “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”