What Should We Allow Children To Do And What Should Be Prohibited?

Question: In a school in Israel, a 4th grade student hits teachers. In fact, the behavior of children in schools has become, if not aggressive, then uncontrollable. That is, the child, according to the remarks of the teacher, can hit him and push him, not to mention that he can simply contradict him.

Where is the line between permitted and prohibited when a person grows, understanding his capabilities and, yet, not crossing the boundaries of uncontrollability?

Answer: It depends on education. In accordance with what you give to a person, you can allow him to be within certain boundaries.

Question: Can children be punished?

Answer: It depends on the punishment and how it is perceived.
Punishment should be seen as a correction. When I take a child and ask him,
“Did you do the right thing?”
– No.
“Why did you do that?”
– I wanted to. It seemed to me.
“Do you understand that there is a little devil in you who is pushing you to do this?”
– Yes.
“How do we get this little devil out of you? Try yourself to weigh your act and punishment. The punishment will no longer be a punishment but a correction so that the next time you will not hear this evil devil, so that he will not allow you to do stupid things!”

We discuss this with him. And then he himself will weigh the situation and say what he thinks about it.

Question: So it turns out to be like a game?

Answer: This is not a game; this is working on errors. It is correcting the mistakes of nature.

Question: You said that a judge is one who can judge himself over his own egoism. How can a person move to such a position so that he can see himself in the present, see himself in the future, and still judge the situation correctly, if it is, for example, a child?

Answer: There is a lot to learn. It is necessary to compare all the facts, study the nature of humankind and the world around us, somehow explain the science of Kabbalah, and reveal it to everyone, including children. We need to be open with them, talk about our problems and about our nature as that which exists in us and does not depend on us, and discuss how we can fight this and how we can balance it. All of this must be the subject of judgement.

And then a person will begin to relate objectively to himself and to others. He will understand, “Yes, this is my weakness, but this is his. How can we balance the negative and positive forces?” Only in this way can I come to the right society.

The world, from day to day, shows that we cannot educate a person about anything except for the right attitude to the world, to ourselves, and to people. And that’s it.

Question: What should this correct attitude be based upon?

Answer: The right relationship should be based on the realization of evil and good, which we are composed of, and how we can balance them in ourselves, in parents, in children, and between everyone. Relations are objective, relations are absolutely open! Do not hide anything.

What should I hide? I am created this way and I have to fix myself. How can society fix me, myself, my parents, and everything? Everyone should be this way. So all of us are engaged in open self-correction. This should be the schooling.

Question: What can children be allowed and what should they not be allowed to do?

Answer: I gave money to my son at the age of 16 to travel around the whole world. He was in Europe, India, and various other countries. After that, he returned and said, “Never again.” This is what I want. I wanted him to see all of this so that he would understand that it was not his .
Why am I saying this? It must be allowed.

Question: And what can be allowed for children in primary school or preschool-aged children so that they understand we must be guided by certain values, that these are our foundation, and that others are anti-values that we cannot afford to acquire?

Answer: I am not a psychologist, especially not a child psychologist. I just know that we need to raise a child in accordance with his inclinations and all the time I must show him an example. Example! Children are brought up by examples.

Today we have a lot of examples from all over the world that our children see, and, therefore, this is a big problem. I believe that it is necessary to organize the right, serious environment around a person because only this can educate him.

The most important thing is providing an example. And if a person has bad examples including all kinds of films about robbers, thieves, rapists, etc., then, naturally, he will grow up like that. He will willfully become so, involuntarily, because he absorbs these examples and writes them into himself as if copying and eventually repeating them.

It is you who paint the future world into small people today. They will grow and begin to implement it. You must take it all together and do it all in the name of the next generation. It should be integral to state and world politics.

The main problem facing mankind is education; it is needed in order to make the next generation right, happy, wise, and kind.

Remark: There is a very deep foundation in the fact that in Jewish families, and in Israel in particular, children are allowed everything. They can do everything. This instills in them a certain courage and craving for risk. They are not afraid of anything since fear is not brought up in them.

My Comment: They do not put pressure on them because, under pressure, the feeling of a person’s confidence in the world disappears. And so, they are born confident, self-confident, arrogant, and so on. But still, such an attitude toward the world that “the world is beneath me,” is the right property. A person should feel this way.

But, treating the world like this, do I look at it with love? Am I looking at it in the right way? Or in a purely consumeristic, selfish way? This is already a problem. And today, it is not really being solved.

Question: How can we instill love within impudence and self-confidence so that it becomes confidence, respect; something that connects a person with another and does not repel people from one another?

Answer: We cannot do this if we do not direct humankind to the higher power within nature. All of nature is governed by an upper force. All of nature is arranged, wound up, and imprisoned only to bring a person to his best, highest state.

If a person receives this direction, then he correctly interprets everything that happens to him in life with people and within nature, and he knows how to correctly use all of these data.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/3/19