From Egoism

We are built from the desire to enjoy, from egoism, which only cares about its own good. But this force that exists in me and worries about itself is not me; it is an extraneous force that exists in the body. We do not understand it and we identify with it because we were born and raised with it.

So I can’t even imagine that my egoistic desire is not really mine. I can rise above or separate from it and feel it as a stranger existing outside of me. This is called the power of Pharaoh over man. If I discover that egoism is outside of me, it means I reveal the Pharaoh.

If I build love for the friends in the group and through it try to draw the surrounding Light, then this Light affects me and cuts me off from my desire to enjoy. Then I feel that this force is alien, not mine. It just ruled over me so much that I thought it was me.

Gradually, I realize that egoism is not me, but it was so cunning and insidious that it penetrated me and took control of my every desire and thought, my heart and mind. It ruled everything, but now I see that I can gradually free myself, move it away, and remain outside.

I want to be in neutral territory, not under its rule. I feel it determines what I think about and what to want. And I do not agree with this! I want a different force to rule over me—the force of bestowal, the force of the Creator. These two forces are opposite to each other.

But how can I do this? I see that the egoistic desire is driving me to the grave. Just look at what is happening with the world, where it is going. Everyone already is beginning to understand where the egoistic nature is pushing us.

Therefore, I need the reforming Light, the force of the Torah, which will separate me from my desire to enjoy. I will begin to feel that this desire is evil and that I can get out of it. I had “seven fat years” (“seven years of satiation”) when I enjoyed my desire to enjoy, the fruit of its development in a capitalist, egoistic form, and all the blessings of progress.

However, today we reveal that the egoistic desire will not lead us to good. It turns out that this power is evil. Then you need to decide what to do. People with a point in the heart oriented at the upper force wishing to reveal the Creator, the upper world, the essence of life and its purpose, have a direction in life and are ready to realize it.

From above they are led to a group, to the place of their correct realization, and a person’s goal is to choose this good fate and awaken the reforming Light through the group. Only with the help of the Light can a person begin to separate himself from his egoism, which buries him, and begin to feel it as someone else’s force, the power of the Pharaoh, and hate it. Although I grew up in the house of the Pharaoh, in the end I run away from him.

We can do all this work in the ten, each helping and supporting the others and showing an example of mutual bestowal. In the measure of our efforts to unite, we will attract the reforming Light that will separate us from the egoistic desire and bring us to a new place, under the good power of the Creator.

On one hand is the domain of the Pharaoh, on the other hand, the domain of the Creator, and we are standing in the middle between both of them. As a result, Pharaoh turns into the left line,  the reforming Light into the right line, and in the middle we include both of these forces.

We get the desire to enjoy from birth, we borrow it from Pharaoh, which is called we leave with many possessions. Above it, we build a restriction, a screen and the reflected Light, all the corrections received from the reforming Light, and in this way we are set free.

Therefore, without implementing in the group, we have absolutely no chance to follow this path. Everything starts with the shattering, the sin of the Tree of Knowledge. As Adam asked the Creator: “Will I and my donkey eat from the same trough?”—meaning, will I be a donkey who only enjoys filling his body? And where is the man in me?

The Creator replies to this: Wait, there will be shattering, the revelation of evil, and then “by the sweat of your face you shall eat bread,” that is, you will gain wisdom, reveal the Creator, and become a man.¹

Pharaoh first appears when I feel how my egoism separates, peels off, and becomes a stranger. I feel that it and I are not the same thing. Egoism is a foreign power placed over me from above. Although it is established by the Creator, I disagree with it. Then this force is called Pharaoh. This is already a significant advancement.²
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/13/19, Writings of Rabash, Vol. 1, Article 2 “Concerning Love of Friends ” (1984)