Entering Spiritual Work

All spiritual work goes by faith above reason. It is called “faith” because my regular corporeal senses, the desires I was born with, do not approve of it. But I receive a certain Light from above, which holds me in this state called “faith” and allows me to do the work despite the fact that I feel no upper degree. Also, I do not want to feel it, nor to work for the sake of feeling good, being its slave. Instead, I want to rise above it, above my nature. Therefore, I ask to be given the Light of faith.

Despite the fact that I do not see, hear and understand how the power of bestowal works, I still want to work according to its laws so that it would clothe in me. The people of this world are guided by the power of reception and follow their desire to enjoy, unconsciously submitting to it like dolls in the hands of a puppeteer. I, however, want to be guided by His other hand, which is called “the hand of faith,” so that it will begin to control me, capturing my whole heart and mind.

However, at the same time, I do not leave my old nature. I want to feel it and compare how one is different from the other in order to work by faith above reason. I will have reason and in addition, faith, which is higher than reason; that is, the power of bestowal will dominate over the power of reception. I will know and understand how bestowal can be dominant, and I will be able to direct it myself. It will remain under my control.

This is called “faith” because I do not require knowledge of how the power of bestowal operates; I just want it to be dominant over the power of reception.

Therefore, all spiritual work begins with acquiring the force of faith, the force of bestowal, above the force of reception, which is called “reason.” I remain a reasonable person and do not soar in fantasies as if I walk by faith alone, ready for any bestowal. I am not ready for anything, I see things absolutely clearly. Faith above reason is based on real force, even stronger than the force of reception.

I work with the full inclusion of all my feelings and reason, with my environment and the entire world, but in a new way, in a different style of work. This is the entry to the spiritual work.¹

Faith above reason relies on sensations that seem unnatural to us. The natural feelings received from birth are our rational knowledge. Now, however, I ask to be given an additional perception of reality in order to build a new level of bestowal, Bina, faith, which does not rely on corporeal knowledge. I rely on reception because it is built on egoism. But I ask to be given such a perception of reality as if I can sense the Creator, as if His power of bestowal has been revealed throughout the world, and everyone is in love and bestowal, and I want to be the same.

I realize how far my request is from reality, but I want to align myself in such a way that I relate to it on two levels: the power of reception and the power of bestowal. On one hand, like a judge, I can only go by what my eyes see, which is corporeal reality. On the other hand, I perceive the world as if it was corrected, only the single force of the Creator operates in it, and there is nothing else besides it.²

If the Creator had clothed in me and had given me His power of love and bestowal, replacing the egoistic force of reception that used to control me, I would become an angel. I would only love and bestow to everyone just as unconsciously I want to receive from them now. I would simply replace one nature with another.

This can never happen. The goal is to remain as the same created being while also becoming similar to the Creator, that is, to include two levels.

Therefore, after many years of disappointment in the futile attempts to obtain the force of bestowal, to feel love, and the spiritual world, I finally understand that I do not even want it. I do not need the force of bestowal that would completely engulf me like egoism currently does. It would not amount to anything. True bestowal consists of remaining within the force of reception and acquiring the ability to rise above it by the force of bestowal.

While hating somebody, I get the ability to treat him well. I don’t want to turn into an angel and love everybody. I remain the same egoist as the Creator made me, not destroying my desire to enjoy, but above it, I make a restriction, a screen, the reflected Light, and I build my attitude of bestowal above reception. I don’t want any reward or compensation, I just want to treat everyone the way the Creator treats them. That is, my intentions are relatively unselfish.³

We must reveal all the evil inside of us and obtain the force of faith, Bina, above it. We cannot become the Creator, we can only become similar to Him. Therefore, our force of bestowal can only exist above the force of reception, as if we bestow.

The force of bestowal is the force of the Creator. We can only imprint it in ourselves and thus become a human, Adam, meaning similar (Domeh) to the Creator. We apply gilt on top of our desire to enjoy. But inside, under this gold foil, the whole sculpture remains, all the evil of our ego. This is the Aviut of desire and the screen above it.⁴
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/22/18, Lesson on the Topic “The Work Within Reason And The Work Above Reason”