Tears Of First Love

Question: Let’s suppose that a 14 year-old girl fell in love and is confused. Her parents feel this. Is it worthwhile to discuss it? How should it be done in order not to frighten the girl? Maybe we should relate the memories of our relationships when we were young?

Answer: That wouldn’t be bad. And even better is to wait until one of the girl’s friends arrives and starts a discussion about first love. To recall the time when we were young is fine, but kids at this age, as a rule, are under such a strong impression that they don’t really hear a thing.

We know that the development of the desires is carried out according to the pyramid: food, sex, family, etc. This pyramid is divided into many more parts. Usually for the younger generation, the most important thing revolves around sex. In adolescence it is revealed as an unconscious impression that pulls the child forward and he does not understand how, where, and why.

Is it possible to balance this impression with intellect? Here we must be very careful so as to build everything on mutual understanding, sympathy, by example, and with these issues one must be a friend to your child and not a parent. Indeed, in this case children simply don’t see their parents because they are so deeply within their experiences. For them, the important thing is what is happening in their realm.

I would try to organize a gathering of girls at home, and try to gain their trust as a child their age. Be with them; tell them what you felt at their age, what kind of problems you had with girls. Maybe your wife will also remember something from childhood.

But you need to play the part as a child. The girls need to really see you as being their age, although a little old-fashioned, from another generation. It is very interesting.

Of course, the kids will laugh a little at you, but that will already be mutual interaction. And the parents shouldn’t mind that the girls giggle at them as if don’t hear them. They actually are listening and completely understand.
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From KabTV’s “Conversations with Michael Laitman” 12/11/13