On The Way To Ideal Relationships

Question: In the wisdom of connection there is an exercise called “the ideal husband.” Is it worthwhile to change this into a game where each of the members of the family describes the others to himself as ideal?

Answer: Certainly; this is very interesting. But at the same time, we must always leave some kind of delta (incremental change) that in the meantime we are far from being the ideal; rather, we only agree about an ideal relationship between us; we want to reach it, so we are drawn towards it somewhat.

This standard is, in fact, unattainable because all of us are human and everyone has his own ego. But we need to yearn to rise above ourselves as much as possible, to connect together, to value this state and consider it as the ideal.

Such a state must become a shared general familial standard. If we play with this correctly with the children, they will be much happier than us because we come to this in the second half of our lives.

Question: There is another similar game called, the “Joy of Concession.” Indeed it is difficult for us to concede something to each other, but this is easy in the form of a game. Suppose a daughter says, “I’ll be back from the party at 11 o’clock.”  The father says, “At 10.” Well Dad, “Let’s play ‘Joy of Concession.’ Lost! At 11.” And he concedes. Is the game useful like this?

Answer: Only if this is mutual and to a certain degree of reasonableness. First of all, the child doesn’t need to manipulate with this. Second, he must understand that with this he is entering into the trust of others, inviting them to trust him, he must take all of this into account.

In other words, the parents give him their trust, but together with this, he should accordingly carry out what they require of him. Suppose that they let their daughter come home at eleven o’clock at night, but this is on condition that someone will accompany her or meet her. They must demand that she be responsible for what she does.
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From KabTV’s “Conversations with Michael Laitman” 12/11/13