Allergic To Love

I have to feel the friend as a part of me, as the main part. Just like a mother feels her baby as the most important thing in the world. She cherishes the baby more than herself.

In order to do this, I perform different actions in the group that draw the Light that Reforms so that it will form the new attribute in me, the attribute of bestowal. Then I discover love towards those I hated before.

There are several stages along this path: First I come to the group and study with the friends. It would be better if I could get along without them—for example, if I could pay the teacher to be taught privately and so that the friends would go away. But the teacher tells me, “You need them; to the extent that you connect with them, you will be able to hear what I have to say, otherwise you will remain deaf.”

What kind of a condition is this? The more connected we are, the better we understand the teacher. This is very strange… there is nothing like this anywhere else.

Then the teacher together with the sources tell us, “If you love one another, you will feel the material that we study. You will not only understand it, but you will feel it; you will discover a new reality in the connection among you. If you connect, like the fingers in one hand, you will discover the upper reality, the upper world!”

That’s strange! So what should we do?

“Try,” they tell me. I begin to try, and if I really try to connect with the friends, I feel an aversion. There are conflicts and problems, mutual baseless accusations, and it is impossible to overcome this. It seems that it isn’t so easy. What is the argument about? It is about a spiritual problem: whether to connect in order to advance towards the Creator, or to separate. This isn’t an argument about minor issues in this world, but a spiritual argument between “Moses” and “Pharaoh.”

As a result, I feel helpless, and instead of love of friends, I discover aversion, and then hatred. Then I begin to work more and more intensively.

If, for example I have 50 kilos of hatred and I cover it with 51 kilos of love. Thus, I acquire a spiritual vessel. After all, we have tried as hard as we could to overcome the hatred with the help of mutual prayer, and as a result we now feel love between us.

This is the path to the spiritual world that we discover only in the connection between us—there is simply no other place it can be revealed. I hear this over and over again, until after several months I realize that that’s the way it is, until I accept it internally.

But now I don’t accept this; just like a patient who is allergic to a certain medicine, I am allergic to real spiritual love. [98782] From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/24/13, Writings of Rabash