A person who exists inside his own ego cannot feel love. Love implies that i love someone. But I do not love someone. I love someone the same way as when we say we love fish(for ex.) Regretably this is how we love. This is why the moment i stop enjoying my wife or it seems to be that another woman will bring more pleasure to me I leave my wife and get another one. All of this is happening to me because I pay attention to the level of my own fulfillment. This is why we have to correct ourselves in order to feel love. As egosits, we are evn afraid of loving someone. We are afraid that one would take advantage of us: that in some sense, will work for him or her. All the levels which we rise above, that we ascend towards, correcting ourselves and coming closer to the spiritual ideal are but the steps towards the realization of love. This is not as simple as it may seem, and it is not so insignificent. On the contrary, it shows that love does not exist in our world, on our level. To really attain love, we have to go beyond our world to the world of Atzilut. (one must not forget that each human being was created with a male and female aspect and that and the term " a woman builds, a woman destroys" is in the female as well as in the male) There is, in essence, a simple solution, explained in the Torah very simple, It is written, "Husband and wife" and Shechinah (the presnce of the Creator) between them, If we intoroduce a certain binding element called -Shechinah between husband and wife then they can really be husband and wife, that is they can unite with each other. What does this binding element represent? it comes into existance when both partners go beyond their egoism,beyond their desire for delight. by doing this they also turn into a single Kli (vessel) in which the Shechinah reigns.
It is possible to attain and takes constant work and many trials and when so called disturbances occur this is where the greatest work is possible to achieve between two parts.
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